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Touchline Dad

Touchline Dad

TOUCHLINE Dad is written by Peter Harvey, a newspaper editor with Trinity Mirror Merseyside. Father-of-three Peter, 39, worked as a writer for the Liverpool Echo during the 1990s and is the former editor of the Crosby Herald and Bootle Times newspapers (2001-2006). He is currently editor of the Advertiser Series in West Lancashire. Touchline Dad is a lifelong Liverpool fan.

Our Jack...

Jack with his first Man of the Match award

JACK Harvey is seven, going on seventy-seven. He's a dependable, no-nonsense defender for Marine FC's U7s playing in the Bootle and Netherton Junior Football League in north Liverpool. Jack played for Crosby Stuart U7s in 2006/7, helping them win every league game. He is being encouraged to appreciate both Liverpool AND Everton...for now at least.

The Gaffer

The Gaffer

THE Gaffer is a true Blue. Although she's now swapped her Gwladys Street season ticket for looking after three children on a Saturday afternoon, she still gets steamed up thinking about Graeme Sharp in his skimpy shorts.

Not forgeting...

Emily

EMILY is five and has no interest in football. Her kicks come from Barbie girls and make-up, bangles and beads. Oh, and shoes. She changes them at least five times a day. Dabbles with ballet and swimming. Cross her at your peril.

And finally...

Paddy

PADDY inherited a mini Everton kit from Sam down the road. No doubt 'Pads' will also get Jack's pass-me-downs, so that will narrow his allegiance to Real Madrid, Juventus, Republic of Ireland, England, Everton and Liverpool. Loves pirates, yoghurts and Josie Jump. He's got the second worst temper in the North West...

Marine AFC

FORMED in 1894 and based in Crosby, north Mersyside. The first team plays in the Northern Premier League and were champions in 1994 and 1995. 220.jpgThey had a famous FA Cup run in the early 1990s, eventually being knocked out by Crewe 3-1 in the 3rd round. Roly Howard was manager for a record 33 years (1972-2005), although he will always be remembered by some fans as Kenny Dalglish's window cleaner. TV presenter Ray Stubbs once asked: "How's business, Roly?" to which Roly replied "Oh you know - ups and downs."

Snapshots

Jack and his Marine U7 teammates
Jack, Carra, Emily, Touchline Dad and the European Cup
Jack, Emily and Paddy
Jack at Goodison Park, 2007
Jack at Anfield, 2007
Jack (stripes) in action for Crosby Stuart
Jack's former team Crosby Stuart U7s

Crosby Stuart

THIS was Jack's first club. It was formed in the early 1970s in north Liverpool and is now one of the biggest and most successful junior football clubs in the North West. Crosby StuartFormer players include Michael Ball (Everton and Rangers) and Stephen Wright (Liverpool and Sunderland). The club motto is 'To Enjoy, Not Destroy.'

Football Crazy

"JACK stood before me in his Buzz Lightyear pyjamas, hands on hips. I kicked him hard in the shins. Instead of falling to the carpet and rolling in agony, he laughed. 'Do it again, Dad. Do it again. We’ll trick Mum.' I didn’t fancy chancing our comedy double act with The Gaffer, so instead Jack clambered into bed still wearing his new 'shinnies.' 'Maybe tomorrow, eh dad?' he asked as he closed his eyes to see his Premier League heroes greet him."

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Premier League

Fair Play: Losers Can Be Winners

Posted by Peter Harvey on May 16, 2008 3:01 PM

MANCHESTER City get drubbed 8-1 on the final day of the season and have a man (Richard Dunne) sent off.


Dunne was the team's fourth red card of the season - only four teams have a worse disciplinary record in this regard (Blackburn, Chelsea, Fulham and Reading).


Man City's reward? A place in the UEFA Cup for being England's fairest team in the Premier League.


For the record Everton had the least yellow cards in 2007/8 with 40, six less than Liverpool in second place and 11 less than Man City.


Tricky one to explain to kids. Lose. Cheat. And you might just win...

Top Ten Finish in Fantasy Football

Posted by Peter Harvey on May 13, 2008 7:15 AM

LIKE Rafa Benitez my fantasy football season was pretty much over by Christmas.


In the hurry to get my team registered in August, I'd picked some donkeys including Gary Speed, John Terry, Micah Richards and Didier Zokora (where did that choice come from!!).


Touchline Dad's XI

Gerrard and Pienaar Top Study of Most Assists

Posted by Peter Harvey on May 11, 2008 10:32 AM

EFCYOU may have expected Mikel Arteta or Tim Cahill to top the table of Everton's goal providers this season based on their creativity over the last few years.


You may also have expected them to chip in with 20 or 25 goals between them. If they had, the Blues could have been been nudging Arsenal for third place, never mind Liverpool for fourth.


However, the stats for all matches reveal, it was Steven Pienaar who is credited with the most assists (14) behind Arteta (10) and Cahill (4).


Here's the full list (up to May 11, 2008):

'Cesc Fabregas is Quite Literally on Fire'

Posted by Peter Harvey on May 3, 2008 5:25 PM

NOT sure what this is all about or if it's just a bit of clever videotape editing. I stumbled across it on the excellent Soccerlens blog.


Children, pleeeeeze don't try this at home. To satisfy our lawyers, can I clearly state that dousing yourself in petrol, striking a match and playing a game of televised keepy-uppy is not big or clever.



(Just click on the image above and the video should play without you leaving this page)

P.S. Having just looked at it again, yes, it's clever editing but still a bit of fun...


Wikio - Top Blogs - Sport

Everton: Fairest of Them All?

Posted by Peter Harvey on March 16, 2008 5:11 PM

EFCTHE annual Premier League 'fair play' table could see Everton crowned champions for 2007/8.


It is a crudely put together table, awarding one point for every yellow card and three points for a red card, and does not take into account how many fouls are committed by teams.


The team with the lowest points tally can be considered the fair play winners.

Newcastle: Keegan's BIG Mistake

Posted by Peter Harvey on January 16, 2008 10:24 PM

Kevin Keegan will always be highly regarded by Liverpool fans


I LIKE Kevin Keegan. He formed a big part of my childhood and brought Liverpool fans a lot of happiness in the mid-1970s. He seems a really decent bloke.


But, what on earth is he doing going back to St James Park? It's surely got failure written all over it.


A decade ago Keegan's appointment as Newcastle boss brought entertainment but not a single trophy, unless I missed something.

Season Predictions: November Update

Posted by Peter Harvey on November 5, 2007 9:46 AM

Can Moyes fire his players to cup glory?Hey Touchy Dad! You calling me stubborn?


TOUCHLINE Dad turned pundit at the start of the season with previews for both Liverpool and Everton.


Of course, making predictions is a surefire way of making a fool of yourself. So, how are the predictions doing? Alternatively, how big a fool am I?

Chelsea Boss: January 1, 2008?

Posted by Peter Harvey on September 27, 2007 11:01 PM

ONE of the biggest surprises of the season will be if Crazy Frog lookalike Avram Grant is still in charge at Stamford Bridge in the New Year.


As appointments go, this one's got caretaker written all over it. Three 'big' names are being linked with succeeding the Premier League's newest manager - Lippi, Van Basten and Hiddink.


Guus HiddinkChelsea FCAvram Grant


But which one, if any, is going to get the poisoned Chavski chalice?

Do You Know The Way, Jose?

Posted by Peter Harvey on September 20, 2007 7:07 AM

Chelsea FCJose and Rafa


JACK was watching Breakfast News and asked me why Mourinho had quit.


"Well, sometimes if a team's not playing well, people blame the manager and say horrible things about him.

Top of the World (...well, England)

Posted by Peter Harvey on September 1, 2007 5:32 PM

LFCJACK'S eyes nearly popped out of his head and his gummy grin was ear-to-ear as I showed him the Premier League table on the BBC Sport website.


Although he was irritated that I had interupted his Saturday teatime sword fight with fellow topless pirate Paddy, he peered over my shoulder.

On The Chopping Block

Posted by Peter Harvey on August 29, 2007 11:01 PM

Champions elect?


2007/08 SEASON PREVIEW:

LFCBEFORE you wonder. No, there's no money riding on this. And yes, I'll welcome any abusive comments next May when I'm looking like a silly ninny.


Send them now if you like. There's always an outside chance I won't be left with Premiership egg on my face.


Making predictions in sport is as frustrating as it is compulsive. At this time of year, everyone has a view on their team's fortunes for the season ahead, some blinded by wishful thinking, others chilled into retreat by the ghosts of seasons past.


Up front. Balls out. Here it goes. Liverpool will win the Premiership.


Spirit of the Blues

Posted by Peter Harvey on August 29, 2007 11:00 PM

2007/08 SEASON PREVIEW:

EFCIT'S been a long time since Everton enjoyed a cup run to make the floorboards of Goodison Park thunder. But 2008 could change all that.


In fact, it could be the year the spirit of 1995 is rekindled much to the fans' delight...


Waggie Watson waves the FA Cup in '95Blue nose Duncan Ferguson

Spurs: Who Do You Believe?

Posted by Peter Harvey on August 22, 2007 11:58 AM

IT'S difficult to know what or who to believe at Spurs.


Martin Jol seems a decent, straight guy - but there's clearly a lot of discontent behind the scenes at White Hart Lane.


After Jol seemingly gets a vote of confidence (or was it a stay of execution?) from the club, Juande Ramos reveals he was offered the job as Jol's replacement, but he decided to snub the club's 'dizzying' offer in favour of sticking with Sevilla.


Oue politicians are slaughtered for being less than straightforward with the public; in football 'double talk' is accepted as part of the game.


Snatch of the Day

Posted by Peter Harvey on April 1, 2007 6:51 PM

GARY Lineker's long face was niggling away, so I 'googled' to find out what his problem was.


It seems the FA are punishing Gaz and Co (Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer) for telling it like it is with regard to England's poor performances of late.


Wouldn't they be better served looking for a replacement manager? Someone who DOES believe Jamie Carragher and John Terry could help us win a World Cup? Or am I alone in thinking Steve McClaren is tactically average, woefully uninspiring and insufficiently qualified for the job?


At the moment we're bang on track to come third (and therefore not qualify) in our Euro group behind Croatia and Russia. The Israelis could also pose a threat. Bring back Beckham!!!!


Do I have any suggestions for an England manager? To be honest, apart from Alex Ferguson (and that's a wee bit unlikely), none.

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