They had a famous FA Cup run in the early 1990s, eventually being knocked out by Crewe 3-1 in the 3rd round. Roly Howard was manager for a record 33 years (1972-2005), although he will always be remembered by some fans as Kenny Dalglish's window cleaner. TV presenter Ray Stubbs once asked: "How's business, Roly?" to which Roly replied "Oh you know - ups and downs."
Former players include Michael Ball (Everton and Rangers) and Stephen Wright (Liverpool and Sunderland). The club motto is 'To Enjoy, Not Destroy.'
General
It's Showtime! Harlem Globetrotters Hit the Target
Posted by Peter Harvey on May 17, 2008 8:35 AM
THE Harlem Globetrotters are surely the greatest entertainers in world sport - alongside snooker trickshot king John Virgo and that table tennis guy with mirrors and combs concealed in his bat.
I'm being ironic about the last two.
This Saturday morning is all about slam dunks, flip shots and dribbling in our house after Jack's visit with his cousins Alice and Michael to the Globetrotters at the Manchester Evening News Arena last night.
I've not even had my breakfast (c'mon Gaffer) but already I'm familiar with names like Showtime, Sweet Pea, Buckets, Handles and Slick. Oh, and Moo Moo...he's cool.
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Scrubs: Everything Comes Down to Poo
Posted by Peter Harvey on May 10, 2008 10:03 AM
HI! Jack here. Dad's gone to the tip...again (I'm sure he's got a floozie in Bootle) and he's left Touchline Dad logged on. I know his password anyway. It's Sally James.
"Aaaaah Sally. Them were the days," he sighs as he cranks up.
Does he get paid for this self-indulgent twaddle? Christ, he writes some tosh about me. And, who's The Gaffer? Poor cow.
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Top Tips for Tip-Top Touchline Dads
Posted by Peter Harvey on May 10, 2008 7:21 AM
DURING my 18 months as a touchline dad, I've been privileged to become pals with some good people, while sharing the line with some of life's losers.
I have been uplifted by acts of camaraderie and kindness one moment; crushed by incidents of thuggery and abuse the next.
I will reserve further comment for a piece I'm working on (crikey, I sound like Antony Gormley) about the 'Tyrants on the Touchline.'
Believe me, I've seen some dislikeable, dangerous people stalking the line. Screwballs who shouldn't be allowed near children.
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Steve McClaren: Wally With A Brolly
Posted by Peter Harvey on November 22, 2007 10:50 AM
'OH hi! Is that Jose? It's Brian Barwick from the FA. No. Bri-an Bar-wick. I need someone to win us the World Cup. Fancy it? Fixed contract. Loadsamoney. Two years. Win or bust. Yep or no?'
That's how you fix a problem like the England team.
But, of course, the bunglers will cosy up to an uninspiring, possibly relatively unheard of, 'safe pair of hands.'
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100 Famous Football Jacks
Posted by Peter Harvey on November 14, 2007 3:39 PM
UPDATE: 'We've done it!!'
TO mark the 100th post on Touchline Dad, here's a challenge to readers.
A few weeks ago Jack was feeling a bit sorry for himself as we drove home following a rare defeat for his team, Marine FC under-7s. He sometimes takes setbacks badly and beats himself up (no, not literally).
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Dad!! You're So Embarrassing!!
Posted by Peter Harvey on November 10, 2007 10:26 AM
KIDS change from cherubs into surly brats quicker than a light bulb blowing, said Radio Merseyside's resident dad Tony Snell the other morning.
"You cynical sod, Snelly," I muttered as I drove to work, thinking of my three lovely children who still mob me when I leave the house and who are still there in the hallway when I return.
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Football's Biggest Benders
Posted by Peter Harvey on November 7, 2007 11:21 PM
REMEMBER Roberto Carlos's wonder strike against France some years ago when the ball curled about ten feet around the defensive wall and into the net?
It was a cracking goal. Unfortunately he's tried to repeat it in every match ever since with zero success.
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Rugby: Who Gives a Toss?
Posted by Peter Harvey on October 14, 2007 11:48 AM
THE euphoria that has greeted England's rugby union successes over the last few days beggars belief.
I've shown little interest in the Rugby World Cup so far, but by all accounts England are a hastily assembled, mediocre, resolute side whose last two results have outweighed their performance.
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WARNING: Dads Are Dangerous
Posted by Peter Harvey on October 9, 2007 7:44 AM
OUR friends at Who Ate All the Pies say they are featuring this YouTube video as a warning to all dads tempted to turn their back garden into Wembley.
I suspect that a warning was the last thing on their minds, but I'll also hide behind the same pathetic argument to justify featuring it...
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Kaka, Carra and Cafu in Pub Team
Posted by Peter Harvey on September 25, 2007 10:54 PM
A TEAM of Brummie boozers are striking fear into opponents after putting together a fantasy football dream team.
When Lynam Athletic (no, they're not named after Dessie) pin up the team sheet it reads...
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Cetius, Altius, Fortius...Save Us!
Posted by Peter Harvey on September 19, 2007 9:26 PM
AS a kid I loved the Olympics Games - even though it brought a realisation that Great Britain did not rule the world.
Suddenly, people from unheard of countries like America were 'faster, higher and stronger' than our chaps, even the pale-faced stick insects from the USSR and East Germany somehow pipped us in a 100-metre dash.
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Wake Up and Smell the Goals
Posted by Peter Harvey on September 18, 2007 11:55 AM
ON a schoolday Jack could sleep till midday. On a Sunday his sixth sense boots him from his bunk bed at 7.39am.
Why? Because of his beloved Match of the Day. It's one of the highlights of his week.
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Billy The Whizzkid
Posted by Peter Harvey on July 12, 2007 10:08 AM
THE mugshot of Jack in the Touchline Dad heading reminds me of Billy's Boots or Roy of the Rovers. Not that Jack's got a blonde mullet and the cheesiest grin in Melchester.
Every Friday during my final year at primary school the dinner ladies would 'divvy up' their coppers to reward the boys who helped stack tables and chairs.
We each got about 30 or 40 pence which in 1978 was £2,000 - well worth abandoning the lunchtime kickabout at twenty-five past one and lugging a few tables onto trolleys.
Sometimes we even got an extra cube of pink sponge and custard to woof down before dashing up three floors to Mr Wright's class by the stroke of 1.30, sweating and breathless as we counted our cash.
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Was Jesus an Evertonian?
Posted by Peter Harvey on July 11, 2007 4:41 PM
I'VE banned footie kits in our house on a Sunday.
We're not bible bashers (although in the Catholic tradition we do have crucifixes and statues of Our Lady in every other room), but I thought Jack could wear normal clothes on at least one day a week - especially for church.
Despite his affections still swinging between Liverpool and Everton, Jack has tended to wear his blue kit for church much to the delight of The Gaffer, who still worships at Graeme Sharp's altar.
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