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Touchline Dad

Touchline Dad

TOUCHLINE Dad is written by Peter Harvey, a newspaper editor with Trinity Mirror Merseyside. Father-of-three Peter, 39, worked as a writer for the Liverpool Echo during the 1990s and is the former editor of the Crosby Herald and Bootle Times newspapers (2001-2006). He is currently editor of the Advertiser Series in West Lancashire. Touchline Dad is a lifelong Liverpool fan.

Our Jack...

Jack with his first Man of the Match award

JACK Harvey is seven, going on seventy-seven. He's a dependable, no-nonsense defender for Marine FC's U7s playing in the Bootle and Netherton Junior Football League in north Liverpool. Jack played for Crosby Stuart U7s in 2006/7, helping them win every league game. He is being encouraged to appreciate both Liverpool AND Everton...for now at least.

The Gaffer

The Gaffer

THE Gaffer is a true Blue. Although she's now swapped her Gwladys Street season ticket for looking after three children on a Saturday afternoon, she still gets steamed up thinking about Graeme Sharp in his skimpy shorts.

Not forgeting...

Emily

EMILY is five and has no interest in football. Her kicks come from Barbie girls and make-up, bangles and beads. Oh, and shoes. She changes them at least five times a day. Dabbles with ballet and swimming. Cross her at your peril.

And finally...

Paddy

PADDY inherited a mini Everton kit from Sam down the road. No doubt 'Pads' will also get Jack's pass-me-downs, so that will narrow his allegiance to Real Madrid, Juventus, Republic of Ireland, England, Everton and Liverpool. Loves pirates, yoghurts and Josie Jump. He's got the second worst temper in the North West...

Marine AFC

FORMED in 1894 and based in Crosby, north Mersyside. The first team plays in the Northern Premier League and were champions in 1994 and 1995. 220.jpgThey had a famous FA Cup run in the early 1990s, eventually being knocked out by Crewe 3-1 in the 3rd round. Roly Howard was manager for a record 33 years (1972-2005), although he will always be remembered by some fans as Kenny Dalglish's window cleaner. TV presenter Ray Stubbs once asked: "How's business, Roly?" to which Roly replied "Oh you know - ups and downs."

Snapshots

Jack and his Marine U7 teammates
Jack, Carra, Emily, Touchline Dad and the European Cup
Jack, Emily and Paddy
Jack at Goodison Park, 2007
Jack at Anfield, 2007
Jack (stripes) in action for Crosby Stuart
Jack's former team Crosby Stuart U7s

Crosby Stuart

THIS was Jack's first club. It was formed in the early 1970s in north Liverpool and is now one of the biggest and most successful junior football clubs in the North West. Crosby StuartFormer players include Michael Ball (Everton and Rangers) and Stephen Wright (Liverpool and Sunderland). The club motto is 'To Enjoy, Not Destroy.'

Football Crazy

"JACK stood before me in his Buzz Lightyear pyjamas, hands on hips. I kicked him hard in the shins. Instead of falling to the carpet and rolling in agony, he laughed. 'Do it again, Dad. Do it again. We’ll trick Mum.' I didn’t fancy chancing our comedy double act with The Gaffer, so instead Jack clambered into bed still wearing his new 'shinnies.' 'Maybe tomorrow, eh dad?' he asked as he closed his eyes to see his Premier League heroes greet him."

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Rugby: Who Gives a Toss?

Posted by Peter Harvey on October 14, 2007 11:48 AM | 

Jonny boy

THE euphoria that has greeted England's rugby union successes over the last few days beggars belief.


I've shown little interest in the Rugby World Cup so far, but by all accounts England are a hastily assembled, mediocre, resolute side whose last two results have outweighed their performance.


Wins over the Aussies and the French have been enough to thrust out-of-touch sports editors into hyperdrive and set BBC bloggers giddy.


The front pages of the Sunday papers were so delirious I put my quid back in my pocket.


Heaven help us if Jonny and the boys squeeze past South Africa, Tongo, Iceland or whoever they're playing in the final.


It could also cost the Queen a bit of brass. Like those other lucky Englishman from a couple of summers ago (remember the Ashes?) they'll all be handed knighthoods and never be heard of again.


Time for a reality check. The media hype is not reflected on the streets of England where football fans are resorting to DIY jobs, watching repeats of Top Gear on UK Gold or finally taking last year's Christmas tree to the tip to fill the void of a lost weekend.

Comments (24)

gd2bagooner wrote...

You borin mug! Someones had a crap weekend, get a job.

Posted by: gd2bagooner  | October 14, 2007 1:48 PM

Ali wrote...

At least the English rugby team have got a spine and don't collapse when the going gets tough. You obviously have a lot of spare time on your hands if you took the time out to complain about the most successful English sporting team ever... Sick of the Top Gear repeats? Get used to them, next summer you'll be watching a lot of them following England's hasty Euro 2008 exit. You sad man.

Posted by: Ali  | October 14, 2007 1:51 PM

rugbyfives wrote...

in all seriousness...

but you did make me smile. funny post. quite well written in places, too.

Posted by: rugbyfives  | October 14, 2007 1:53 PM

Loftgroov wrote...

Touchlinedad is clearly too much off a poofball obsessed cretin to comprehend rugby. He's probably feeling hugely downbeat that "Becks and Co" can never achieve anything...

I think hes need to crack open another can of stella and reassess his life to far...

Posted by: Loftgroov  | October 14, 2007 1:54 PM

SW_Copnor wrote...

"a poofball obsessed cretin"

Whilst I don't agree with Touchlinedad's message I also find this above remark antagonistic towards us football supporters who also take an interest in rugby. It smacks of elitism - a sort of "we don't want your sorts watching our game" - especially the comment about Stella drinkers. Fine, if you don't want our sort...you'll just have only 1/2 million people watching if you continue to alienate ordinary folk from following rugby.

I follow both sports (mainly football though) and am proud of the fact. Most of the people I know also follow England in every sport and I for one don't like the class structure that is prevalent in far too many situations between our two great winter national sports.

Fans of the two sports should for once unite and stop sniping with their class-based issues.

Posted by: SW_Copnor  | October 14, 2007 1:55 PM

upandunder wrote...

Unfortunately this is the narrow minded comment of most football fans. If they would rather watch overpaid petulant prima Donnas who basically fall down at the slightest touch if touched at all let them. Rugby is a mans game where we respect officials even if we do not agree with decisions, we do not feign injury or try to get an opponent sent off , we can go to war on the field and shake hands after the game and buy each other a beer ,our fans know how to behave and the England team have a chance of defending the world title we may not win but nobody thought we would do anything.

Posted by: upandunder  | October 14, 2007 1:56 PM

Anonymous wrote...

If English rugby fans had anything like the wit and imagination of the their football equivalents, they wouldn't be the world's jonny-no-mates.

Posted by: Anonymous  | October 14, 2007 1:56 PM

Touchline Dad wrote...

A good old kicking for Touchline Dad. Take that you impudent lout! My favourite has got to be 'you poofball obsessed cretin.'


I asked our Jack if he's excited about England's Rugby World Cup exploits. He said he didn't even know the tournament was on, which arguably reflects my lack of interest and preference for watching 'Murder, She Wrote' rather than rugby on TV.


It may also reflect how rugby union generally fails to fire the imagination of young boys in this country, certainly not to the extent that the football World Cup does.


Rugby union remains largely the preserve of the privileged and the privately educated, while rugby league takes the other extreme.


Even winning the World Cup four years ago has failed to make English youngsters excited about the game.


Football can be tainted by yobs and bigots (can't any sport?) but it certainly occupies the middle ground in British and world sport.

Posted by: Touchline Dad  | October 14, 2007 3:35 PM

Free Bet Man wrote...

It may be the middle ground but for how long hey? As money continues to roll into the game, the working/lower middle classes are slowly being priced out of this 'beautiful game' until there is nothing left for us.
And why can't rugby be enjoyable, its attitudes from people like you which mean youngsters aren't taking up the gamein this country, and I'm not even a rugby fan.

Posted by: Free Bet Man  | October 14, 2007 9:38 PM

The Scarey One wrote...

Rugby Union doesn't fire the imagination of young boys, you need to get down to Waterloo Rugby club on a Sunday morning and see the enthusiasim there instead of lying in your pit. Better class of sport no Touchline parents shouting the odds or does it remind you of your prepy school days and the fact that you were obviously no good at it.

Posted by: The Scarey One  | October 15, 2007 2:05 PM

Byasen wrote...

I can't believe it! Ten posts already, and not one of them mentioning big ugly men playing with their funny shaped balls. Allow me...

Posted by: Byasen  | October 16, 2007 9:53 PM

Greg O'Keeffe wrote...

Every footy fan I know is well behind the rugby team, just like they got behind the cricket team when we regained the Ashes.
The fact that England were rubbish right up until the quarter-final only makes this tournament even more bewildering, entertaining and exciting.

Peter, I think Jack may be a bit too young to follow union.

Posted by: Greg O'Keeffe  | October 17, 2007 10:41 AM

Touchline Dad wrote...

P'raps I'm just too good looking for rugby.

I played rugby as a boy, reported on it as a man and I have been known to spin a rugby ball or two at Jack in the park (once accidentally whacking him right in the face with an over enthusiastic powerball pass).

Boy did he cry!!

The sport is fine. My point is that it is simply not as popular as the media will try to trick us into believing.

It does not consume people anything like football can, especially youngsters of Jack's age.

I dropped in to the pub for a quick slurp on Saturday night when the England-France game was on and there were no more than a dozen people watching it.

If it was the semi-final of the football World Cup, the place would have been creaking.

It's a good example of decision-makers on newspapers and in TV misjudging their readership or audience and over-hyping something when the news or sports agendas are thin.

Give it plenty of coverage, yes - but keep it real.

Posted by: Touchline Dad  | October 17, 2007 11:53 AM

csb wrote...

I didn't know there was a Scottish theme pub in Crosby. You should probably get yourself a different boozer Touchline Dad!
I would imagine if you checked out the back page of all the popular press today you would see what really is important to English people! I'd be suprised if there was a rugby ball in sight.
In true celtic tradition I hope you lose on both counts by the way.
(blue touch paper lit!.....stand back!)

Posted by: csb  | October 17, 2007 1:16 PM

Guus Hiddink wrote...

CSB, I bet you were a cocky jock, swirling your skirt for a few minutes tonight, hey? Until my teenage friends in Georgia brought you back down to earth.

Posted by: Guus Hiddink  | October 17, 2007 8:51 PM

The Scarey One wrote...

No chance of you being too good looking for Rugby and what have I told you about going into dodgy pubs in Crosby

Posted by: The Scarey One  | October 17, 2007 11:15 PM

csb wrote...

Its ok Guus, We only have to beat the world champions at home now.......Doh!
There are a few more rugby fans today, I wonder why that is?

Posted by: csb  | October 18, 2007 8:02 AM

Hugh Jass wrote...

I got to the pub on Saturday to find two of my wrecked mates wearing England footie shirts watching the rugby. It was on about the 82nd minute of the game and the first thing they asked me was how long is a Rugby game? And what are the rules? Call that support if you like but it's not for love of the game. It's just glory hunters jumping on the bandwagon like they did when the Ashes was going our way.

Posted by: Hugh Jass  | October 19, 2007 11:17 AM

Touchline Dad wrote...

I wish the rugby boys well this weekend, though I suspect we've ridden our luck. I'll probably watch it if the kids are in bed.

It's Saturday night, isn't it?

If England win, the hospitals better be braced for over-sized chaps coming in with burns injuries from sitting on too many flaming Drambuies.

I much prefer the Oxford-Cambridge varsity match when there's cut-away shots of bladdered oiks, wrapped up to the gills in stripey scarves and waving posters of Kiri Te Kanawa.

All together now: "Sccchhwwwiing lowwwwww...."

Posted by: Touchline Dad  | October 19, 2007 11:59 AM

Ann Oik wrote...

Bit tipsy, yah. Kiri Te Kanawa, yah. But striped scarf? No way, Jose! That's so last year. Must dash. Boozy woozy...

Posted by: Ann Oik  | October 19, 2007 1:09 PM

Free Bet Man wrote...

You sure have changed your tune touchline dad.
Starting off totally against Rugby and everything it stood for, now you're thinking about watching it if your kids are asleep.
Why don't you do everyone a favour, if you aren't going to support the English team no matter what sport they're competing in from the start, why bother even showing a slight interest just because you feel guilty?

Posted by: Free Bet Man  | October 19, 2007 7:06 PM

Touchline Dad wrote...

RE: Free Bet Man and 'you sure have changed your tune touchline dad.'

No guilt. No U-turn. And, to be honest I'm still not bothered who wins tonight's final, but I thought I'd be a gent and wish them well for what it's worth.

Rugby just doesn't do much for me and the media hype is irritating. I may have a different view on the sport if Jack or the other kids show an interest or even take it up.

The great thing about sport is that you can support whoever you want and whichever sport you want.

From the coverage I've seen so far, the Springboks are worthy of the title world champions.

Imagine if we made it compulsory for sports fans to support their home country. The bookies would soon be out of business.

Didn't the bookies write off England's chances after the 36-0 thrashing by South Africa, offering 66/1? It seems patriotism only goes so far.

Off to the tower with you!

Posted by: Touchline Dad  | October 20, 2007 4:12 PM

Wayne wrote...

There are more soccer players in France than there are rugger players in the whole world. The rugby world cup is not a true world cup like the FIFA world cup. The rugby world cup is just an assembly of fellow rugger cultists from different parts of the world.
Of course England will always have a much greater chance of winning the RWC than the football cup. Because only a few countries play rugby competitively. Heck, to even get into the finals for the next FIFA world cup in South Africa is big challenge for our footballers and a long road to haul. Whereas the Rugby fellas have pulled off some wins against Samoa and Tonga (combined population of less than 300,000) and won just TWO competitive games to get to the final. And you call them heroes? Rugby is a homoerotic sport full of arcane rituals that for those who lack natural athleticism and speed. So get real, England did not have to qualify for this Rugby world cup, win only two matches and then people speak about them in the same breath as our footballers. Some people just need to take a good long hard reality check.

Posted by: Wayne  | October 22, 2007 3:54 AM

Free Bet Man wrote...

I accept that this World Cup is far from being on the same level as that of the Fifa World Cup but what is? The Olympics is the only other event which even compares.
It is true however that the Rugby guys showed far more grit and determination during their matches - with the exception of the first SA game - and actually looked to be playing for the Country.
The people who need to wake up and smell the coffee are those who believe the footballers have the same mentality.

Posted by: Free Bet Man  | November 2, 2007 5:14 PM

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